‘How can something taste so bland yet so revolting?’: ‘Food snob’ Frenchman slams Greggs sausage roll as ‘mushy gelatine’ and ‘cardboard passed through a food blender’ in scathing review of Britain’s favourite bakery
- Nicholas Henry, 29, was forced by his friend to have a Greggs for breakfast
- Friend forced the French national into trying a sausage, bean and cheese melt
- In a scathing review he labelled pastry ‘bland’ and said it ‘tasted like cardboard’
A French tourist has risked the wrath of Britons after labelling Greggs sausage rolls ‘bland and revolting.’
Nicholas Henry, 29, was forced by his friend to have a Greggs for breakfast after managing to avoid it for over two and a half years.
His friend, Layke Lemercier, decided it was time to spend £5.59 so Nichola could finally have a Greggs, despite being a ‘food snob because he’s French’.
Layke bought Nicholas a sausage roll and a sausage, bean and cheese melt for his breakfast on Saturday morning so he could enjoy it while sobering up.
Nicholas was bought a sausage roll and a sausage, bean and cheese melt for his breakfast – and didn’t like either
Nicholas Henry, 29, (left) and Layke Lemercier (right), who treated him to a Greggs
The pair from Derby thought the whole affair was hilarious and decided to share to Reddit the review, which got thousands of upvotes.
She uploaded the review captioned with: ‘My French friend has lived in the UK for almost three years and has never been to Greggs.
‘Obviously being British I just couldn’t let it go, so I got Greggs sausage roll delivered to his door. An hour later he sent me this.’
The image shows a hilarious food review written by Nicholas which took him over an hour and a half.
He wrote: ‘I know British people are sometimes described as explorers or pioneers. And I have to admit that Gregg’s managed to do something groundbreaking with their sausage roll.
‘As I chewed and swallowed I simply couldn’t understand how something could taste so bland yet so revolting at the same time.
‘Amazing. The crust tastes like cardboard that was passed through a food blender and then compressed together into a puff pastry.
‘The sausage is all over the place, sometimes it feels like mushy gelatin, sometimes it’s spicy. Yet I chewed through it and bite after bite I could see it’s intrinsic value.’
He then reviewed the sausage, bean and cheese melt, which he admits he couldn’t eat as it reminded him of awful food he had during school that made him weep as it was so bad compared to his family’s home cooking. But, he still soldiered on.
He wrote: ‘I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful b*****d…but this one I just couldn’t…I enjoyed the moment.
‘I enjoyed that Layke ordered me breakfast today after a rough hangover, and I got to experience a true British moment.
‘And I now appreciate why some guys in the morning go ‘d’you know wha’ mate? I could really go for sum fooking sausage roll now’. I get it now.
‘That’s what Gregg’s is. It’s like a nice neighbour. He sits there quietly and when you need him to help you fill up after a rough night, he will be there for you.’
Speaking today, Nicholas said: ‘I thought it was funny and I tried to be like a food critic with it.
‘They’re a lovely company where you see their dishes on the shelf and that doesn’t work for me because I’m French I like croissants.
‘The food looks very off putting. It was like a British institution, you haven’t done it correctly if you haven’t had a Greggs.’
Layke said: ‘I thought it was hilarious the review the fact he actually put in the effort to write it.
‘He always refused to have a Greggs when we walked past it as he is a bit of a food snob because he is French. I thought it was the best thing I read. It made my week.’
Xopranaut wrote under the post: ‘A Frenchman philosophises about cheap British food. Truly a meeting of cultures.’
ReceiptIsInTheBag wrote: ‘Never thought I’d have an existential crisis reading a review of Greggs.’
Voluotuousaardvark said: ‘I like everything he says apart from the nice neighbour part, Greggs definitely isn’t a nice neighbour they purposefully put their stores near small local bakeries to take their custom and put them under.’
Dibblaborg said: ‘Great review. Bravo monsieur.’